Can i not drive my cunt home
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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