found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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