I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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