he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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