sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Who died my cat blue again?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
