Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
