i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
