Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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