p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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