so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
