but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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