no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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