Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
