you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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