Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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