what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
