i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
