yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
