There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize