We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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