Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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