Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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