their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Randomize
