A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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