I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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