There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
