Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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