Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Houston, we have a squirter
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
