It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
