i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
