what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
