4 words: hood of his car
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
