your thong is hanging out like whoa
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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