3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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