I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize