before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
