Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
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Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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