Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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