Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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