The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
