did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
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