Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
