so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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