he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize