he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
