Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
