im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
