You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
