i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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