how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
