i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
