Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
