and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
