i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize