so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
