so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize