At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Acid is not a monday night drug
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
