Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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