dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
