just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
