My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
