goodnight i made you a song goodbye
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible idea I love it
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize