We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
