so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
