Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
