Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
