Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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