guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
