We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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