The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
