If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
