high people should be assigned attendants
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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